只是发牢骚........................................

第四年了

还真TM的累 

每一天早上8.15就得到学校 然后一进clinic 就是忙到下午五点了 

有时候遇到麻烦的case，不会帮忙的Dr 还得自己settle 还得加班 牺牲午休时间 再不然就得拖到五点多 然后回到家还得准备下一次appointment的东西

每一天日复一日的生活 也开始慢慢觉得厌倦了

好吧 算不上日复一日吧 

偶尔 每逢星期一星期五还得上完clinic后就去上课 若很庆幸的下午没课或没clinic 还得拖着不情愿的身子来学校 进lab弄denture

所以基本上每一天都是non stop的

好不容易熬到周末了 结果却得“努力”温书

因为若不读书 那下次的appointment就等着被看笑话吧

自开课以来 身心都渐渐进入非常疲惫的状态

两年后 毕业了 我真的无法想象那种朝九晚五 回到家还得赶paperwork的生活

 在外行眼里 我们这一行业很赚钱 而且也只不过是9-5的生活

其实他们都不懂 那种累 其实和其他行业一样 都是非常无敌地累的的的的的

还有 其实 我也不知道我在写什么 

本人此刻的脑袋处于当机的状况

好想睡觉 但是明天的border moulding 我还没有温习！

Uncle, 我可以cancel appointment吗？？？？

/_\

Be a Role Model to earn respect

If you want people to listen to you,
please, fucking please be a role model, will you?

Stop, and don't say it out if you can't fucking act on it.
Everytime you asked us to do something, I'll feel disgusted, seriously.
It's not because of I am unwilling to do it, but your attitude and action make me feel like you don't deserve the respect.

I wanted to respect you, I really wanted to.
But, somehow, what you did all these years don't really make me look upon you.

I keep telling myself all the while that I won't ever be someone like you when I grown up.
And yes, I still feel the same even when I am already 23.

So sorry but I just can't help to feel so.
Period.

Live the present and worry the unknown later

Had a casual chat with my secondary school friend this afternoon
We talked about her work and also life after graduation
And then we came to the topic of certain islands which are going to sink soon

I told her that Im so gonna visit Venice after my graduation coz it is going to sink real soon
Unexpectedly, she gave me the expression "rolling eyes" and told me that Maldives will sink even sooner than Venice, which is in 5-7 years time from what she had heard
I doubt her words and hence I did some research through Googling and guess what I found?

I found out that not only Venice nor Maldives that are having the risk of sinking
There are many others islands or cities which we are very familiar with that are also facing the risk of sinking!
For instance, Soloman island, Bangkok, New York, Shanghai, New Orleans and etc

These islands or cities are said to sink in future mainly due to the rise in sea level and erosion of beaches
All these are because of what we human had and have done
We are the one to be blame because we are the one that used up natural sources by mining, chopping down vast amount of forests and kept emitting greenhouse gases which have a serious effect on the climate
Increase in climate temperature will lead to melting of ice and hence increase sea level which in turn cause many islands and low grounds to flood or being immersed with sea water

According to the articles that I read, if such condition does not improve and no action has been taken, then the rate of those islands sinking will be accelerated
From the statistics given in those articles, the current increase of sea level is approximately 2mm per year
If the condition worsen, this rate might double up causing a rapid increase to 4mm per year

I certainly do not wish such disaster to happen but what can be done?
Such global warming issues have long been discussed and warned by the experts
Is it too late to start acting on it? Or there are chances to halt such progression?
Well, from what I have witnessed, many are currently trying to raise awareness on this issues especially after our Mother Nature has fighted back by Tsunamis, floods, ice cubes rain, snows in certain places which have no such history before and etc

Movies such as 'The Day After Tomorrow' and 'Tsunami' came to my mind once I imagine what our future will be
And that was really really scary especially when I came to realise that I have no hard foundation in swimming
What will happen if such day does really come?
I certainly do not wish to die by drowning! What a terrible and suffering way to die that way lol

The thought of drowning makes me stand firmer on my decision to go for a swimming course
However, the thought of taking up a swimming course came first when I was planning to go for a diving course
Did some research on diving last time and found out that they require us to have a basic foundation in swimming and hence lead to my decision to go for a swimming course
But there's a small problem which makes me kind of reluctant to go for it
Today's findings has actually gives me a strong determination to really go for what I want and fear of
So... Yeah, I have made up my mind for that!

Anyhow, whether the day I fear will come, or not, still I need to live the day as how I should be living
Worry about the future later, live the present to the fullest and at the same time keep improving myself so that when the predictable or unpredictable comes, I have the ability to face and overcome it
Even if it really happens one day, it 's our fate and that is all the more reason for us to appreciate what we have while we have it, no?

我不是真正的快樂嗎？

並不是第一次聽到這首歌
但卻是第一次認真注意它的歌詞
這歌詞 真的深深切切真真實實地說中了我心聲 或者該說..我的現況

這首歌 讓我無法不回憶起曾經的點點滴滴
關於她的點滴 我以為我早就忘了
我以為我已經不恨了 不愛了 不再在乎了
但是 事實好像卻是相反的

我承認 我偶爾真的會很犯賤地拿朋友的手機關注她的近況
我承認 我偶爾看見神似她的人 我的心還是會漏了一拍 我的眼神還是會離不開她 雖然那個她只是很像她
我也承認 看見她男朋友我還是會有很想上前揍他一頓的衝動
但是 我真的以為 我已經沒事了

一直以來都只是在自欺欺人
還是這一切只是錯覺 又或者是正常的
說真的 我也無法明了

分手後 曾經墮落了好一陣子
但在那之後 也很努力地在尋找着從前的自己
也一直告訴自己一定要變得更好更強更讓她覺得我更優秀了
一直不斷地努力想要提升自己
也很努力地想讓日子過得很快樂
但 突然之間發現 這一切好像只是假象

不想讓身邊的人知道或發現我的難過
所以都只會配合地笑 配合地玩
雖然 有時候 還是會被朋友發現我的不正常
沒辦法 我從來就不是一個好演員
所有表情都會寫在臉上 想遮掩也遮不到

一年一年過去了 的確有所改變
朋友似乎變少了
話也不多了
心也不再容易動心了

大家都說只要時間對了 就會遇到那個對的人
但是 對我而言 我好像還在履行着那個諾言
或許真正的解放是在3年多4年後吧
只希望日子快點過 讓我早點知道結果 然後死了心





看來 那首歌真的講中了
我的傷真的只是不肯完全的癒合
死犯賤！

義。

幾乎忘了這個blog的存在
早就習慣了所有事情自己吞 所有不開心自己熬
一直認為 不可以讓別人看見自己的軟弱
所以面對人的時候 多數都是好強又沈默不語的自己
總覺得 少說話 就能夠少暴露自己的脆弱

朋友 兩字 看似簡單 其實一點都不簡單
朋友其實可以分很多種 但卻都不是因認識的時間的長久而定的
有者你認識了好一段時間了 其實卻在你需要幫忙時 義字消失得無影無終
有者你雖然只認識了不長的時間 在你需要幫忙時 肯定義字當頭 肯定拍拍胸膛替你解決一切

所以說 朋友真的是需要經過種種考驗
才能夠知道誰其實是真心的 誰才是值得一交的
自認待朋友不錯 若遇見了覺得是真心的 我肯定兩肋插刀 上刀山 下火海 也在所不辭
如果遇見了我很喜歡交的朋友 覺得很夠朋友 又常常讓我因為一些看似微不足道的小事而感動
我必定會銘記于心 並且真誠的把心交出來

很幸遇地 雖然只是屈指可數 卻也讓我遇見了幾位那樣的朋友
但也很不幸運地 另一些確確實實地讓我失望了

無論如何 好的 我會銘記于心
壞的 雖然會選擇忘記 但從此卻也失去了重要朋友的位置



最後 想對號入座的 請自便
I don't care anymore。

什麼變態科系！

天啊啊啊啊
13個科目 1個月的時間
平均1科大概2天左右的時間得讀完背完！


這...
這...
這...

怎 麼 可 能 讀 得 完？！


這次真的法克了
去你媽媽的誰決定第二年讓我們讀那麼多科目的！


不如...斃了我吧！
/_\

拿前途當賭注的笨蛋

這種時候是敏感時期
雖然不少人阻止了 本身也明白它的風險 但還是無法讓我打消想要出席那「聚會」的念頭

我明明知道 倘若一不小心被警察逮捕
我很有可能會被學校開除 同時也會永遠失去當牙醫的資格

我明明知道 倘若一不小心被警察逮捕
爸媽肯定會很恐慌著急 老爸也肯定會四處找人幫忙把我救出來

我明明知道 倘若一不小心被警察逮捕
我一直以來所夢想的 將會一夜破滅

我明明知道它的風險 它的危險性 以及它的後果
為什麼卻無法讓我後退

拿我的前途我的夢想來賭注 值得嗎？